and they said beijing was modern! i’ve been completely cut off from the internet since i arrived, and i had almost completely given up my search for any form of connection till now. even in korea where i was two weeks ago they had internet you either could steal wirelessly or a LAN wire in the hotel. forget it here. they have big TVs and 60 channels (not counting cable) but NO ONE seems to think about going online. (for that matter, only 1 out of the 60 channels is in english.

and it’s in a very strange, pretentious sort of english — everyone speaks in fake british or american (it falters) accents with the characteristic chinese language enunciation; you know what i mean, where words ending in d or t, or l don’t get those pronounced. so a newsreader might say, “many peopow have die in the recen train acciden… i(t) is a terriber tragedy.”

which sounds a little like singlish, i realise. but if you say it with a flower drum song accent, you’d pretty much get the picture.

anyway, beijing’s been pretty pleasant for the most part. it’s not really wise to wear slippers everywhere though, unlike in singapore, because the roads are pretty much filthy. not filthy in the extreme in which i had previously imagined random dollops of poo on the road of course, but filthy in that it is crazy dusty. much like in korea, the cab drivers are also not fans of airconditioning, because they believe that it causes rheumatism or something or other. unlike korea, however, the air is just unfit for billowing through cab chambers at high speeds.

but yes, i am finally long de chuan ren! having walked some part of the Great Wall, i qualify for the honour — one that’s only of significance in my head, yes, but undoubtedly one that i’ve been more or less fixated on for the most part of my general search for useless random honours to call my own.

there are over 16 million people here — 4 times that of singapore. which explains why at any time of the day, you’ll see the equivalent of singapore’s entire population aimlessly roaming the shops and so on. which makes weekdays weekends and weekends hell.

as mentioned, the english standard still leaves much to be desired. though the chinese people are perhaps not as arrogant as the korean or japanese people in that they actually try, rather than have all their road maps, menus, store signs and the like in east asian blobby symbols. my favourite so far was the sign beneath the automatic tap in the airport toilet, informing you that you didn’t have to press anything to activate it: no unnecessary touching. my dad confirms that they have the same sign above the urinals’ flush in the gent’s.

another sign which might not be as easily understood by people outside of singapore or taiwan and the knowledge of coarse hokkien phrases is “no f**k foods permitted”, which was translated from a customs sign prohibiting the bringing in of “gan” (dry) food products. “gan” is a rude hokkien word. i suspect the sign writer got sabotaged.