The Queendom of PineappleTartlets
I’ve set up my “Queendom of PineappleTartlets“ over at Nation States, inspired by Max Barry’s novel, Jennifer Government.
After filling in a page-long questionaire outlining basic political views, they gave me this profile of my country:
The Queendom of PineappleTartlets is a tiny, pleasant nation, remarkable for its compulsory military service. Its hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical population of 5 million are highly moralistic and fiercely conservative, in the sense that they tend to believe most things should be outlawed. People who have good jobs and work quietly at them are lauded; others are viewed with suspicion.
How suspiciously Singaporean does that sound? And how brainwashed am I? Hmm, I shudder to think, but I have to get back to oppressing the peoples of PineappleTartlets, now.
I know the reason why the people of the country are such. You see many years ago, the great Queendom was actually invaded and in that conflict, many of her people where carried away only to be stacked and transported in containers with red tops and only had wax paper to share between them. No one dares dig into what fate had befallen those captured, but it’s a horror too much to fathom.
The reason for that invasion are unclear. Many speculate that the PineappleTartlets economy had created a worldwide shortage of Sugar and that the invasion was a bid to release that stranglehold on such a valuable resource. However I have read reports from agents in the field during that time and we now believe that the incident was actually instigated by the Confederacy of Doughboys in order to annex the small Pastries Territories that are under the Queendom control.
As such, we fully understand this conservative and suspicious nature that the PineappleTartlets now live in.
Recently, it has come to our attention that this new “Queen” of PineappleTartlets have conspired with external sources for some of her people to “disappear” at least once a year. Even if this agreement was to provide peace and security for the rest of her people, my organization will not stand for this abhorrent act. We the Bak-Hwa will get to the bottom of this and expose the tyrant and the ones responsible!
I can’t believe you made a story up from that. My story was computer-generated, you know that right?
Fal: You dork.
vic> of course it’s computer-generated. But a good exercise of fiction writing is being able to take what little seeds of plot there is and run with it.
Spiro> _|_
Fal:
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right back ‘atcha ;)
Aye! My ASCII art got distorted. Darn.
It looks even more obscene now…
I can’t tell what Spiro’s ASCII art is. Does that make me pure? (Actually, I have an idea, but it can’t possibly be thicker than the person’s entire torso.)
No you’re not pure. I totally didn’t see it that way until you mentioned it…
You bad bad girl!