Sew my lips shut! I’m beginning to find out why it’s called holiday weight now, when I’ve spent the last couple of days scoffing down random tidbits that I see lying around and that get sent in cheery hampers to the office, completely distracting from the pure, pure evil beneath.

But I realise that no matter how nice-slash-expensive-slash-exotic the goodies (which in this morning’s case, were chocolates) are, when you inhale them by the bulk, it all starts tasting the same after awhile.

And it’ll all start looking like the same gelatinous mass I imagine forming around my waist, eventually. Hmm. People say the rain makes you hungry. I say it’s the cheery wrapping, with the bright colours saying devour me, consume me, inhaaaale my goodness.