• There are more combovers in church than in any other organisation, bar none.
• People in church cannot help but work archaic terms into regular speech. Like “vex”. Really, you were just troubled. Pek chek, maybe.
• Most abused, least understood punctuator: “even as”.
• Shunning weirdos in school and work is encouraged to preserve reputation and sanity. Doing the same in church, however, is frowned upon.
• The showing of skin in church draws looks from men and widespread scorn from the ladies. This is identical to the rest of real life, too.
• Tapping on your phone at work makes you look busy and hardworking. Doing the same in church makes you look inattentive and distracted. You probably are, anyway.