Guilt-Powered
If there’s one thing that has always stayed constant for me, it’s this damned guilt conscience.
Everywhere I look and breathe, there it is, conveniently waiting round the corner for anything—and anyone—to summon it.
And it’s been an easy snag for many to use. Like a visible, labelled control panel strapped to my forehead, people have taken one look and used it to get me to do a whole manner of things, just by making me feel bad.
What’s worrying is everyone seems to know how powerful it is, except me.
Is it an overdeveloped conscience or empathy? Or is it just stupidity and perhaps paranoia, even?
It seems I’m largely governed by whether I’d ‘feel bad’ about something.
“I should probably do this, because if I don’t, I’d feel bad.”
“I should probably put up with someone’s crap, because if I didn’t give in, it wouldn’t be nice.”
But I think I’m done.
I’m just so tired of feeling bad for nothing—and nobody—and perhaps it’s time I stopped, for real.
I’ll join you in the camp. I think.
Though I have a feeling I will fall back into the black hole that is “It’s not so nice lar”
OMG YAY!
YES
YES YES YES !!!
yAY
hoorah!!!!!
Wow…uh, thanks guys. :D Makes me wonder how long you’ve been waiting for me to figure this out.
Reene>> Your turn. ;)
Guilt is a useless emotion. I suffer from as well, but try to keep it down to a dull roar.
We can’t escape our natures, but if there’s something about your life you REALLY don’t like, be conscious about it, lose the denial, and start taking steps to reduce it.
One thing that’s helped me: people believe what they want to believe, so worrying about what they “think of you” is de facto limited. That doesn’t give you license to do whatever you want: good manners and behavior are still respected. Social norms are there for a reason.
But that doesn’t mean you have to put up with other people’s crap, feel “bad” etc etc. I’ve never thought of you as a weak person, quite the opposite. So, the goal is within reach, it’s just a matter of making minor adjustments on a regular basis. Stop and think: is this really what’s going on? Why am I doing this, and what happens if i do THIS instead?
Not one of the easier goals out there, but a worthwhile one. For whatever it’s worth, I think you ROCK! So get out there and do one guilt-free thing every day (or every other day, or whatever). Training is ongoing…that’s why they call it training… ;^)
Stefan
That’s great news! yep, having the “too nice” mentality can be, torn in one’s side for lack of a better term.
I wish you all the best Vicki. It looks like this has been a fantastic life changing year for you :)