Let me tell you something stupid that happened to me tonight. If you’ve got a phobia, you’ll sympathise. Chances are, you’ll still find it stupid, but at least you’ll watch where you’re walking next time.

I had just got out of the shower and was crossing my room to get dressed. All of the sudden, I felt something thin that was stuck to my sole pull away in a sickening slow-motion two seconds that felt like twenty.

I froze and let out a gasp so loud I felt a sting in my chest. Was it a lizard? It had to be. Thin, sticky, stringy…flattened. Pulling away from my foot. I forced myself a look at the floor, but I couldn’t see anything.

My room floor is parquet and I wasn’t wearing my glasses. So chances are, the lizard was flat on my floor and I couldn’t see it.

But what if it weren’t? What if it were…half-stuck to my foot, still? I was halfway across my room, away from any mat or rug to wipe my foot on. What if I took a look at my sole, and it really was stuck? How would I get it off?

And could I endure walking back to my toilet, half-knowing there was a lizard stuck to my sole…walking on it? And I couldn’t possibly yell for someone downstairs to come wipe my foot off in my state of undress…could I?

All these thoughts were zipping through my head, colliding in sparks of frenzied panic. I stayed there for five good minutes in a stunned catatonia.

And then I mustered up the balls to have a peek.

It was floss. Used, from earlier in the morning which fell on the floor and got dragged along for the unexpected drama. Waxed, so it was kind of sticky. Half stuck to my foot, and the other end stuck to the floor.

That’s all it was. But this is also why I’m not a believer in shock therapy as a method for getting over phobias. Look at this girl who’s afraid of gherkins. And this guy’s afraid of peaches.Yeah, sounds funny but look at them. I don’t think dropping either of them in a tank of produce would ever get rid of these phobias.